goalz

Tomorrow (10/28/09)
1. only hit snooze ONCE.
2. take harper for a nice, long morning walk.
3. just because you feel like shit doesn't mean you have to look like shit. Wear something besides a hoodie to work.
4. stick to my diet regardless of the office potluck.
5. go to yoga.
6. create the masterpiece that will be my halloween costume. which happens to be a giant loofah.
7. go to bed before midnight.
BAM and that's my day. seven steps to success.

For future days
1. step on the scale every wednesday, and make a promise to myself that i will never see that number on the scale again; instead it will be lower. (this seems reeeal easy, right?)
2. visit the kids i used to sit. miss them. miss sarah-kate's snuggles and jacob's break dancing, miss emily's similarities to myself, and chloe's sense of humor.
3. limit spending during the week (as in meals and coffee) to three. it should be two but i love stauf's coffee and sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going.
4. walk harper every stinkin' morning. come on! for at least 15 minutes!
5. get back into my gym routine. miss it. do NOT enjoy being sick and injured.
6. blog more often. (oh, now you're excited).
7. get to work between 9 and 915. my law firm is laid back, which is great... but i have to force myself into some sort of structure!
8. books > tv. easy to forget when things like the office and gossip girl are on.
9. drink only one weekend night. no ifs ands or buts.
10. sunday is for cleaning.

i'm turning 24 in two weeks. for the past 14 months i wore myself out fighting for something that i never completely gave myself to. so what if i just give myself to it now? it's a new year. i feel the need for change.

shoulda coulda woulda

i should move into a cold dank, ivy-stricken cave
by myself
and befriend the slugs and other gross things.
and i could showcase to the slugs my remarkable talent for crying.
they would probably love it.

i could join a circus. not as a main attraction,
but as a sideshow.
i would show all the customers how tears can just drop right out of the corners
of my eyes.
i just have to remember a tiny bit. and then the rain starts to pour.
the crowd would go wild.

i would move into the earth underneath the first layer of dirt
and crawl around with the worms.
i'm sure they would be shocked when they saw what i could do.
they would be so jealous that they didn't have eyes to cry out of,
and i would politely give them mine.

it would be easy if i had gills and could live underwater,
but then no one would be able to appreciate my tears, because they would just
mix with the ocean.
i would be the only one who knew.

under the ocean
under the dirt
under my skin
under it all
still you.

breakin' hearts all over town..?

it's not you, it's me
it is not you that i care about. it's me.
it's not your feelings i consider, it's mine.

i'm not ready for a commitment.
with you, anyways.

there's someone else.
i haven't met him yet, but there is definitely someone else.

i'm too busy for a relationship.
actually, you annoy the shit out of me so i find other things to do besides talk to you.

i don't want you to turn into something else on my list.
you'd be the last checkmark, fyi.

we are at different places in our lives.
your place is kindergarten.

i can't do long-distance.
the only thing i like about you is that you live far away.

i'm not over my ex.
even though he broke my heart, he is still so much better than you.


i'm going to stop putting these guys through this crap... no dating for me all summer. only dating myself!!

Last Day as a Domestic Slave.

all smiles on my last day!

to say the least, the past two years have changed my hopes for my future. no longer do i dream of being a stay-at-home mom. no longer do i dream of cooking and cleaning all day, with my only chore being the grocery store. why? because this little idea is about a million miles from reality.
so today is my last day as a nanny before i run off to the land of literature and articulation, the land of fact and certainty, the land of scholarship. the land where i belong! oh school, how i've missed you.

white russians before bed

i bought the asher roth album today... and it is totally boss. the song "i love college" could not describe my last year of college any more accurately. i just fucking love it. my fave:

Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Banker's Club and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice

So fill up my cup, let's get fucked up
I'm next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon

Don't even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it otherwise you naked
Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it

enough of that. here's a little something i wrote while sitting at a bar last week.

screamin' on high street
sneakin' cigarettes
dislodging doors
we broke those stupid bets

yep that's it. i feel like it's a farewell at last. i've felt amazingly free lately. i even met someone... err sort of. it's just a dead horse, that old fairy tale of mine. i'm gonna stop beating it; or letting it beat me, rather.

some of my faves from SB09 in dc

spring fever

the sunshine might just be right around the corner.
; )